


whatever/whenever

by singasongofus



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Cheating, F/F, Unhealthy Relationships, moonsun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-26 02:48:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14991104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/singasongofus/pseuds/singasongofus
Summary: yongsun just wants something-- anything.





	whatever/whenever

**Author's Note:**

> i finally wrote something over 1k :,-)
> 
> inspired by mmm's "[angel](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pl3BZ-3WBs)" and [yongsun's acrostic poem to byul](https://twitter.com/yourfavidol/status/988710123198558208), and completely un-beta'd.

Yongsun knows these things happen; people fall out of love all the time. But not them. They had made it through 2 years of university, Yongsun’s study abroad in Japan, and 2 more years of Byulyi’s residency.

 

Looking back, she can’t quite recall when this distance grew between them.

 

She remembers seeing Byulyi for the first time in choir class, remembers hearing that soft, deep voice and immediately being intrigued. And she pretends that she can’t recall how she tried to play off her crush for weeks-- “I just think she’s cool, she has a really unique voice”-- but she remembers that, too. They were the power couple of their school’s choir: the popular, honey-voiced alto and the rising star soprano. They sang duets together and made out in empty hallways when they were supposed to be in class. They couldn’t fall apart this easily… could they?

 

Maybe they can, Yongsun thinks, as she goes to bed alone, pulling the blankets tightly around her. Byulyi is on call tonight, and she had left halfway through dinner to rush to the hospital. She tries not to think about it, but when she does, Yongsun can’t recall the last time they had a full meal together.

 

It’s easy enough to blame the change on outside sources-- Byulyi’s job, or Yongsun’s shifting schedule. But really, Yongsun is always home by six, never schedules lessons for the weekends. She knows Byulyi could switch her hours; she’s been working at the hospital for a couple years now, and while she does have to be on call sometimes, she most certainly doesn’t have to take graves.

 

That’s not to say Yongsun hasn’t asked, either. Byulyi’s good at excuses, which is no surprise, since she’s always been good at talking. She claims that she likes the quiet of graves, and that the nurses are less gossipy when it’s late. Yongsun wants to laugh, wants to ask her, “Who are you married to? Me, or the hospital?”

 

She doesn’t really want to hear the answer, though.

 

Instead, she starts acting out. Nothing big, at least not at first. She schedules a last-minute lesson on a Tuesday evening, goes out for drinks with Chorong on a Friday night. When she comes home Byulyi is already asleep and yeah, she feels a little guilty, but not guilty enough to say no when Changsub texts about dinner the following Wednesday. Yongsun knows Byulyi will be home that night, but decides that she doesn’t care. She leaves the house before Byulyi gets home, with a sticky note on the fridge that says “Went out to dinner, don’t wait up.”

 

Byulyi doesn’t say anything unusual to her the next morning, not when they’re brushing their teeth side by side in the bathroom mirror, shoulders barely brushing, and not when she makes them coffee while Yongsun’s cooking eggs. She leaves with a kiss on Yongsun’s forehead and not a single word to acknowledge Yongsun’s behavior.

 

So Yongsun goes to the local coffee shop and flirts with the barista. She gives her number to the waitress at a new Chinese restaurant and winks at the cashier in the grocery store.

 

On Saturday, Byulyi works a grave and Yongsun and Chorong go clubbing. They’re a little too old for this now, if she’s being honest, but it’s still fun to dress up, pull her stilettos out of the closet, and let Chorong curl her hair. It’s less fun waking up on Chorong’s couch with a hangover, but Yongsun doesn’t mind, because Chorong makes them really good smoothies and then they go out for coffee.

 

Yongsun comes home at noon to a napping Byulyi. She looks exhausted, and really cute with her hair still wrapped in a bun on top of her head, glasses folded neatly on the coffee table. It’s enough to make Yongsun feel kind of guilty, so she grabs a blanket to cover Byulyi before she leaves for her lesson. 

 

She’d like to say it stopped there, and that she and Byulyi go back to a peaceful, domestic existence.  In reality, she goes out several more times, sans Chorong, and on a Thursday night she finds herself at a new bar that’s opened up nearby, one hand wrapped around a weak margherita and the other tangled in some girl’s hair. She didn’t come here to cheat on Byulyi, but that’s what’s happening, and Yongsun wonders, briefly, if Byulyi will say anything about it.

 

The answer is no, she won’t, despite the fact that Yongsun comes home at 4am with tangled hair and a lipstick stain on the collar of her shirt. She doesn’t say a word about it, even when Yongsun climbs into bed smelling like another woman’s perfume, and when Yongsun starts leaving her wedding ring on the nightstand when she goes out, Byulyi remains silent.

 

Yongsun knows that Byulyi knows. She’s not home much, that’s true, but she’s not blind, and Yongsun isn’t exactly trying to be subtle. But Byulyi remains staunchly silent about the whole ordeal, and if Yongsun’s really honest, it’s frustrating.

 

Here’s the thing: Yongsun isn’t trying to start a fight. She hasn’t fallen out of love, and she doesn’t want them to split up. She’s not exactly sure what she wants, at this point, but anything would be better than this.

 

It comes to a head one morning over breakfast. Byulyi’s just come back from a grave, practically falling asleep into the pancakes that Yongsun has made.

 

“You know I’m cheating on you, right?”

 

Byulyi looks up with bleary eyes, mouth open as if to respond, but she only lets out a sigh and continues to pick at her food.

 

“Why don’t you care?” Yongsun is glaring at the top of Byulyi’s head, tears threatening to spill over her cheeks.

 

“Don’t I matter to you? Don’t the past seven years mean anything to you?” The tears finally fall as Yongsun’s voice rises to almost screaming. She’s hysterical now, tears flowing continuously.

 

When Byulyi looks up, she’s crying too. She opens her mouth again, but shuts it just as quickly, picking up her empty plate and setting it down in the sink.

 

Yongsun can only stand and watch and Byulyi disappears into their bedroom, coming out a moment later with her shoes in her hand.

 

“Is that it? You don’t have anything to say to me?” All she’s ever wanted was for Byulyi to tell her that she’s enough, that they’re enough. Is that really so much to ask?

 

“No,” replies Byulyi quietly, “I don’t.”

 

When Yongsun comes back from her lesson that afternoon, she returns to a vase of sunflowers on the counter and a half-empty closet.

**Author's Note:**

> you get to decide what happens to them :-)
> 
> thanks for waiting, everyone! i finished my finals last week and am now on summer break at uni, so hopefully i will be able to write more often-- i have a lot planned for you all!
> 
> please look forward to it, and let me know if there is anything in particular you guys would like to see. however, i will most likely not be writing a sequel/moonbyul's perspective for this, because i honestly have no explanation.


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